How I spent my summer vacation part 1

Everyone seems to wanna do these little ‘this is what I’m doing now” emails, so I am gonna do one now and then one if anything that I deem of consequence should happen. “Of consequence’ being something that I consider somewhat interesting but not worth telling in person. This is my revenge for all you bastards clogging my inbox when you go to Malaysia or whatever to find yourself. You know who you are. I refuse to be bloody eloquent. I CAN be eloquent, I simply refuse.

I am in India, specifically Mumbai. It’s a tiny little city of 10 million people, all of whom drive worse than I do. Yah I know, I didn’t think that was possible either. It’s hot. It’s really really blody hot. And humid. And going to get hotter and more humid and the monsoons are COMIIINNGGG… But Tina, my new pink bunny friend, assures me that I have nothing to worry about as long as I don’t start to hallucinate or anything. I like Tina. She is bunnishly cute. I got here saturday night. I left California on Friday at 1am. Let’s hear it for time delay. I actually managed to sleep almost the entire time I was in a plane. Let’s hear it for Xanax. That stuff WORKS. You don’t think it’s workng cause you don’t feel sleepy and then you nod off for a minute and all of a sudden it’s 9 hours later. I haven’t slept nine continuous hours in like a decade and I did it on a PLANE. I can see how this stuff might be mildly addictive. I’m going to have 30 days with no meat and no alcohol. Can you say detox, boys and girls?

Anyway. I’m here. I am currently with one of my Dad’s brothers’ family. Damn people seriously look different than you remember them from a decade ago. Very offputting. I keep having to suprress the urge to treat 17 year old cousins like they’re still three. Our car blew a tire on the way to my uncle’s house from the airport. That was fun. I also learn little bits and pieces of family history that are somewhat offputting. They’re coincidential, but still a little bit disturbing. I haven’t done much yet cept go to a market and look for pretty sharp things, but they were nowhere to be found. My search continues. Tonight we’re going to take a train for eight hours to see these manmade caves for a couple days, so that should be interesting. Sculptures and cultural goodness. That should be enough inbox clogging for one day. Enjoy.

12 Responses to “How I spent my summer vacation part 1”

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  10. Очень интересное место, мне тут понравилось, правда…
    Столько всего полезного и интересного, я тут останусь на долго.

  11. There was this guy see.
    He wasn’t very bright and he reached his adult life without ever having learned “the facts”.
    Somehow, it gets to be his wedding day.
    While he is walking down the isle, his father tugs his sleeve and says,

    “Son, when you get to the hotel room…Call me”

    Hours later he gets to the hotel room with his beautiful blushing bride and he calls his father,

    “Dad, we are the hotel, what do I do?”

    “O.K. Son, listen up, take off your clothes and get in the bed, then she should take off her clothes and get in the bed, if not help her. Then either way, ah, call me”

    A few moments later…

    “Dad we took off our clothes and we are in the bed, what do I do?”

    O.K. Son, listen up. Move real close to her and she should move real close to you, and then… Ah, call me.”

    A few moments later…

    “DAD! WE TOOK OFF OUR CLOTHES, GOT IN THE BED AND MOVED REAL CLOSE, WHAT DO I DO???”

    “O.K. Son, Listen up, this is the most important part. Stick the long part of your body into the place where she goes to the bathroom.”

    A few moments later…

    “Dad, I’ve got my foot in the toilet, what do I do?”

  12. Test message
    Sorry me noob…

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How I spent my summer vacation part 1

Everyone seems to wanna do these little ‘this is what I’m doing now” emails, so I am gonna do one now and then one if anything that I deem of consequence should happen. “Of consequence’ being something that I consider somewhat interesting but not worth telling in person. This is my revenge for all you bastards clogging my inbox when you go to Malaysia or whatever to find yourself. You know who you are. I refuse to be bloody eloquent. I CAN be eloquent, I simply refuse.

I am in India, specifically Mumbai. It’s a tiny little city of 10 million people, all of whom drive worse than I do. Yah I know, I didn’t think that was possible either. It’s hot. It’s really really blody hot. And humid. And going to get hotter and more humid and the monsoons are COMIIINNGGG… But Tina, my new pink bunny friend, assures me that I have nothing to worry about as long as I don’t start to hallucinate or anything. I like Tina. She is bunnishly cute. I got here saturday night. I left California on Friday at 1am. Let’s hear it for time delay. I actually managed to sleep almost the entire time I was in a plane. Let’s hear it for Xanax. That stuff WORKS. You don’t think it’s workng cause you don’t feel sleepy and then you nod off for a minute and all of a sudden it’s 9 hours later. I haven’t slept nine continuous hours in like a decade and I did it on a PLANE. I can see how this stuff might be mildly addictive. I’m going to have 30 days with no meat and no alcohol. Can you say detox, boys and girls?

Anyway. I’m here. I am currently with one of my Dad’s brothers’ family. Damn people seriously look different than you remember them from a decade ago. Very offputting. I keep having to suprress the urge to treat 17 year old cousins like they’re still three. Our car blew a tire on the way to my uncle’s house from the airport. That was fun. I also learn little bits and pieces of family history that are somewhat offputting. They’re coincidential, but still a little bit disturbing. I haven’t done much yet cept go to a market and look for pretty sharp things, but they were nowhere to be found. My search continues. Tonight we’re going to take a train for eight hours to see these manmade caves for a couple days, so that should be interesting. Sculptures and cultural goodness. That should be enough inbox clogging for one day. Enjoy.

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